Friday Farewell

Video Thursday- Forgiveness

9/11 healing: The mothers who found forgiveness, friendship |

 Video on TED.com

"You have to be generous from the heart... from the mind.

You must be tolerant.

You have to fight against violence.

And I hope that someday we will all live together and respect each other."

Friday Farewell

I Wish it Would Rain

I love Motown music. It speaks to me in ways that most doesn't. Motown artists pour their love, happiness, hurt, soul into their art. There's this one song, it goes like this:

i search the skies, well desperately for rain

cause rain drops will hide my tear drops and no one ever will know

that i'm crying when i go outside

to the world outside my tears i refuse to explain

i wish it would rain

When I hear this song, I always feel that if it would just rain, that the sadness would be washed away. It's like the grass, completly dry and straw-like. It has nothing left to give, but rain would renew it. Make it right again.

When I feel like the grass, it's hard to blog:

.When life is frustrating.
.When I can't sleep.
.When thinking about tomorrow makes my stomach churn.

I am a positive person. I love my life. I never want to take it for granted. I struggle to put out words that aren't negative while my thoughts are.  I think of ideas and moments that I want to share with you, that I want to look back on in 20 years. Then I think of right now and am unable to bring the words out of me. But, things will get better. And when they do, I have a list of things I'm going to tell you about (friends, apartments, Harry Potter, cleaning, travel, 5 years, love, Kingdom Bound). 

Humans should be more like sunflowers. Every day, they turn their face up to the sun and accept the Lord's blessings without questioning the right or wrong of it.

-Carolyn Haines

My Father's Daughter

I'm here for you whatever this life brings

So let my love give you roots

And help you find your wings

It's not living if you don't reach for the sky

I'll have tears as you take off

But I'll cheer as you fly 

 

As those words were played at my wedding and my father and I danced, rather awkwardly, I thought about how awesome my dad is. To prove it, this happened: 

I didn't get to spend Father's Day with my dad this year so I 'celebrated' during my vacation over the weekend. One of my favorite ways to let my dad know I love him is to bake his favorites. He loves chocolate chip cookies, butterscotchies and M&Ms [not that I bake those... but I can get them from the store with the best of them]. The last few times I have baked, my dad talks about the Cheesecake Cherry Cupcakes that his mom used to make, so I thought I'd give them a shot.

My cousin, Katie, blogs about the recipes that she discovers, so here's my attempt to give her a recipe for a change! Below is Grandma Chilson's Cheesecake Cupcakes. They're delicious and so easy to make.

Beat well together:

2 eggs

2 (8 oz.) bricks of cream cheese

2 tsps vanilla

3/4 c. sugar

Spoon into 12 cupcake liners.  Bake at 350 for 25 - 30 minutes or until lightly tan.  Cool.  They will fall in center as they cool.  Fill with cherry pie filling (or any flavor you like).  Top each with a dab of whipped cream or cool whip.

I'm so grateful for the relationship I have with my dad and look forward to many more years of baking, laughing, and eating together.

Friday Farewell

If you make it plain you like people, it's hard for them to resist liking you back.

Lois McMaster Bujold

It Gets Better

Last Thursday night my husband (or chocolate bar, as he is affectionately known to the blogging world) and I were watching Bones, my favorite t.v. show. Someday, I'll tell you why, but today I want to tell you about a commercial that aired during my favorite prime-time hour. Google Chrome has produced a powerful, brave and risky commercial.

This public service announcement commercial brought the struggle that GLBT (gay, lesbian, bi, transsexual) teens go through every day to the forefront of my mind. The weight of their fear and hopelessness should press on all of us. I'm a Christian, I love Christ and therefore, I am called to love others regardless of who they are or what they do. While I do think that people should be able to love anyone they choose, just like I am free to love my husband, I don't want to debate the "right" or "wrong" of sexual orientation.

This project, known as The Trevor Project, brings together people of different race, religion and sexual orientation to bring a message of hope. Individuals are able to upload videos filled with encouragement and empathy. President Obama and his White House staff joined the cause. Pixar employees gave personal testimonies; they showed an outpouring of love to those in need. Television stars from House and Glee are also throwing in support. The list goes on with corporate empires such as Google, Yahoo, Apple, Facebook and Adobe spreading the word of love and destroying the path of hate.

These stories of hope, love, and faith for the future are the stories we should be exposing any oppressed population to. This is not simply a story for those who are GLBT, but for anyone feeling hopeless, unloved or without faith. Allowing this community of people to be abused because we don't like something about them is turning a blind eye to hatred- and allows it to continue to burrow its way into society. This isn't about sexuality- it's about loving people because they are loved and they have purpose in this world. The news is filled each day with stories of anger and hatred; as people of God, or people of a common community of humankind, we should be providing support for those in society who are often disregarded.

Please take the time this week to show someone they are loved despite their circumstances. If it becomes a struggle, as sometimes it is for me, remember that you are loved despite your shortcomings.

Wife.

This is my husband Justin (as if you didn't know):

 He is one good looking guy.

If you are an adventuresome soul, and have allowed your eyes to wander to my personal information, you may have realized that I have a tidy list of words that describe me. The fact that it is a tidy list probably also says a lot about me. The first word on my tidy list has only described me for about 4 months, but I don't mind that I've known it for the shortest period of time, and I put it first anyway. (Harry is very disappointed, since I've been his fanatic for about 11 years he feels he should have come first).

Being a wife is [really] great. Well, at least being Justin's wife is really great. We've been together for almost 5 years now, so we have a pretty good rhythm. Five years, mind you, is almost a quarter of my life. If there was any doubt in my mind that living together wasn't going to be as easy/fun as dating, it only lingered for the space of about a millisecond. Living with Justin is a lot like waking up every morning and discovering a 150-pound bar of chocolate in your apartment. It's like, "Wow! How did I get so lucky as to have this much awesome in my apartment?" You might think you'd get tired of chocolate, but you just don't.

While dishes do pile up, arguments do occur and there are dirty socks, on my floor, again, I wouldn't trade being a wife for any other role.

I love being married to a 150-pound bar of chocolate Justin very, very much.

Friday Farewell

If you find yourself on the side of the majority, it is time to pause and reflect.

-Mark Twain

Tangible Thoughts

I love to write. There's just something about making thoughts tangible that inspires me. And to be honest, it also scares me. Spoken words are often lost, forgotten or denied. Written words may last centuries, even the most insignificant. Copies of letters that were never meant to be read are common knowledge, but whispered conversations are kept between friends.

For this reason, I am both thrilled and terrified by the idea of setting my words to paper a blog. In twenty years, I'll have the option to reminisce about my life. I intend it to be noteworthy, so hopefully it will be a good read. On the other hand, I am making them available to others, which seems like an awfully big responsibility to me. I realize that no one is required to read what I write, but to those that invest time in my thoughts, I'd like to give them something meaningful.

I was speaking with Elaina about my fear of being un-0riginal. What could I possibly say that would hold meaning to my readers (my readers? how strange).We never came to a satisfying answer, just that some people could indeed accomplish it. Within the next week, two of the people I follow posted these quotes:

Even in literature and art, no man who bothers about originality will ever be original: whereas if you simply try to tell the truth (without caring twopence how often it has been told before) you will, nine times out of ten, become original without ever having noticed it. -C. S. Lewis

“I don’t believe in originality. You take inspiration from whatever moves you and you find your voice in those things.” - Tom Walker

These thoughts, which happened to be "original" to me, inspire me to write despite fears or uncertainty of direction. I will simply tell the truth and find my voice. I hope over the coming weeks and months that I not only am able to create a memoir for myself but say something that resonates with others.


So take a walk with me, following my meandering mind.